Yes folks, its quiz time again. Just answer the
following teasers to see if you are a true St Michaels player. Get a bad score, and
we might ship you out to the Bold dragoon!! So good luck!
|1. You are the
clubs Senior Pro. Whilst batting one day, the opposition ask for a sub
fielder. Being a jolly good egg, you offer your services. Whilst fielding at cover, one of
your team mates when batting, lobs up in your direction an extreme dolly of a catch. What
should you do?
- Drop the ball, claiming the sun, which is behind a cloud, was
in your eyes.
- Suffer a fake heart attack.
- Take the catch, much to your teams wrath and bemusement.
|2. You are the
clubs secretary, and are on the verge of winning the clubs trophy for best
batter. You calculate with military precision that all you have to do today, during the
last game of the season, is not to get out, and the trophy will be yours. The game,
though, is an important one - a victory will secure promotion. The target to win is 130,
and the skipper asks you to open the run chase. So how do you proceed with the run chase?
- Tell the skipper to p##s off!!
- Put the team first, and bat to victory, regardless if it means
you losing your wicket.
- Score a mogadon-like 7 not out in 45 overs.
|3. You are the
clubs scorer. In The Tav after a game, you spot an attractive young lady nearby,
apparently alone, at the bar. What do you do next?
- Ignore the damsel, and enjoy the company of your chums.
- Leave your mates to themselves, and offer to buy her a drink.
- But her a double whisky, and ask for a shag in return.
|4. You are the vice
skipper. When playing against the Police at Wootton Hall, you are given out to what you
believe is a very dubious LBW decision. How do you react to this apparent miscarriage of
- Accept the decision with grace, like a true sportsman.
- Wreck the pavilion.
- Eat the offending umpire for tea.
|5. You are the
reserve wicket-keeper, and one week when the Silver Fox is away on his hols, you go behind
the stumps. You are having a good game, and feel confident in your keeping. What do you do
- Continue to play well, and dont concede a single bye.
- Play like Dick, and have a mare.
- Get far too over confident, and try to stop the next ball with
|6. You are away on
tour. The team is about to go for a night on the town. Well know as a snappy dresser, do
- Wow the locals in a sharp Zoot Suit.
- Pull the chicks in your Youngstar tracksuit
- Arouse the suspicion of the local constabulary in your 1979
drainpipes and rayon top.
|7. You are the
clubs umpire, and a good one at that. On tour, you receive some unwanted heckling
from a tramp in the crowd. How do you react?
- Ignore him.
- Shout back, so vigorously that he puts a gypsys curse on
you and your family.
- Mistake the tramp for Dick Bonney, and give him 20p for a
|8. You are the
clubs scorer, and on the tour are given a rare chance to play. You have a bowl, and
try some gentle off-spin. How do you bowl?
- Keep a good line and length, and have 3 tidy overs.
- Ask where these maidens are you here of in cricket are, you
being a bit of a Mad Dog.
- Come unstuck on the third delivery, and end up popping your
shoulder in a rather Statue of Libertyesque manner.
|9. It is the return
league match against the Police. When keeping wicket, you feel rather aggrieved that so
many appeals for LBW have been turned down by their umpire. After the match, feelings
between the two sets of players are running high, and there is the distinct possibility
that a bought of fistycuffs could break out. Do you
- Use your calming influence to diffuse the situation.
- Pile in.
- Dial 999.
|10. You are,
without doubt, the clubs best player. And when on tour, your team mates decide to go
and have a nice meal at the local Indian, what dish do you decide to order?
- A mild chicken curry.
- A mouth watering beef biriani.
- Scampi and chips
|11. Which one of these is Brian
- The fat one on the left.
- The ugly one in the middle.
- The transvestite on the right.
- All three