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OFFICIAL - COX TRIGGERS MORE LBWs

They should put him in a f**king Western’ says disgruntled batter Collier

An amazing breakthrough by a leading chronographer has proven beyond reasonable doubt that umpiring legend, Steve ‘Trigger’ Cox, is taking less time to give out LBW decisions then ever before.

The invention, called a ‘stopwatch’, categorically proves that the time taken between the bowler’s appeal for LBW and the deadly raising of the finger has reduced beyond recognition over the past decade. In his report to be published next week, a man in a white coat said ‘These figursh are indisputable. HIC ! If you look at them in date order, you will sheee (HIC) that they’re falling quite shteadily. HIC. Like I’m going to do now. (THUD !!)’.

The stats are truly amazing. By taking timings of all Coxy’s LBW decisions over the years, it has be proven that :

  • the percentage of LBW decisions has gone up.
  • bowlers, on realising that Coxy does give LBWs, have increased the number of appeals, and
  • the time taken to give a decision has fallen.

Those figure in full.

Year

Appeals

LBWs

Time taken

1992

1

0

n/a
1993

0

0

n/a
1994

2

0

n/a
1995

6

1

4 hours
1996

9

4

72 minutes
1997

17

9

47 seconds
1998

142

137

0.2 nanoseconds

 

Steve Cox umpiring decisions alaysis

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